It's been a long time since my last post, and a lot has happened. Let me fill you in.
First off, I moved out of New York. Charlotte and I put all our stuff in storage and emptied out our apartment of two years. It was bittersweet. I had been so busy putting everything away, cleaning the apartment, spackling holes, and making sure it was ready to move out that I hadn’t processed any of it. As I was shutting the door, I froze. It didn’t hit me until the very last second: I was closing that door for the last time. It was sad to say goodbye to a life we had grown accustomed to, a house we had called home, and friends old and new we were so attached to. But a new adventure awaited.
So what's the new adventure? Manila!
That’s right, we move halfway across the world! It’s been exhilarating. Our new neighborhood is super lively and exciting. Adobo’s made lots of new dog friends in the neighborhood. The food is fantastic, and the weather is way nicer than what we left behind.
So we’ve been super busy! Packing up our old apartment was a hassle, and then we also had to get our dog to the Philippines, not to mention ourselves. Once here, furnishing the apartment and getting it to feel like our space has taken time. Even just getting the lay of the land takes adaptation. Where do we get groceries? Where do we buy stuff for the house? What’s the best way to get around? Where’s the dog park? How do pedestrians and cars interact differently — do I cross and expect people to stop, or should I wait until someone waves me in? Are dogs allowed inside stores? Do I say hi to my neighbors? Should I leave a tip at a restaurant? How much? Everything is different and new. And even for the stuff that is the same, it takes time to figure that out.
All that to say that the last month and a half has been jam-packed, even though I haven’t posted anything to my newsletter or had any other creative output. A chaotic schedule is not very conducive to self-expression. So, instead, I mainly focused on the goals that I could more easily achieve with an unreliable schedule:
I have read 2 1/2 books.
I've meditated 40 times
I’ve been doing my 100 push-ups a day. (I’ll write more about this when I do my 10,000th. Less than 5,000 to go!)
I've gone on 13 short runs, which is on target for my 100 workouts this year.
If you count the US, I’ve already been to two countries out of my goal of five for the year, and I have two more international trips in the next two months.
I’m learning Tagalog a little every day, with over 100 words in my vocabulary already.
And my job has been very fulfilling and engaging.
Despite all this, it's hard to look at my goal of publishing 42 creations and not feel disappointed. I've only published two this year, including this post you’re reading. What’s going on, have I fallen off? Why am I not able to post more? Clearly, I am doing something wrong. But at the same time, I feel like I've done so much over the past month and a half. The numbers and my feelings disagree, so what gives? What do I trust — the numbers telling me I’m behind, or that feeling of getting a lot done? What I’m measuring is telling me, “You're not doing enough,” but I feel like I'm doing awesome. After all, I'm living in a new country! More than living, I'm thriving. Isn't that the essence of living life to the max?
This split between numbers and feelings remains a motif in my life, and I don’t think there’s a simple solution. However, I have found the beginning of an answer in the book I’m currently reading: “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. This latest chapter I read (“Habit 3: Put First Things First”) talks a lot about time management and how there have been four “generations” of how people plan and manage their time.
The first “generation” put a lot of emphasis on notes and checklists, with the primary motivator being to increase visibility into which tasks you are getting done and which remain to be completed.
The second was all about calendars and “appointment books” (I had to look up what those were) to plan ahead and schedule work for the future.
The third “generation” built on the first two and focused on methods to increase efficiency by trying to extract as much output from your time, energy, and effort. I think I spend much of my time in this third way of thinking. My whole newsletter is about “getting the most out of life” and building habits. These are great, but what this also does is strip away a lot of the human element of living life. It reduces lived experiences down to their measured output. Doesn’t that sound exactly like the problem I am faced with? Why does my life feel so exciting and full, yet my lack of creative output also makes me feel like I’m wasting my time somehow?
Luckily, there’s a fourth generation of time management. It takes the learnings from the first three and recenters them around one central idea: when dealing with people, both yourself and the people around you, aim for effectiveness over efficiency. This means prioritizing your tasks based on their importance to the values you want to uphold and your mission rather than focusing simply on output. Instead of ensuring you squeeze out every minute of every day, it reframes goals over longer timeframes — how to make the best of your week, month, or even year (think: long-term success over short-term profits.) It also encourages re-prioritizing as your values change. External forces will push you in new directions, which shouldn’t be seen as a bad thing but rather an opportunity to expand your horizon and, with it, your goals and aspirations.
How do I apply this to my situation?
Well, firstly, I have to chill.
There’s nothing easy about completely uprooting your life and moving across the world. Moving is stressful even if it’s down the street, and we traveled a little farther than that. Clearly, all I’ve done in the last month has been in line with my values and aspirations, even if it’s made some specific goals of mine harder to work on. I haven’t procrastinated or been lazy. I’ve just been busy with stuff outside of my creative work.
And that’s okay.
When measuring my success, I need to look less at the individual numbers and more at the feeling of achievement and growth, which is hard for my computer-sciency-engineering brain. If I’m feeling lazy and unproductive, I can use the numbers as a compass to tell me what I should focus on next. Unless they’re used as a motivator, I have to lay off the numbers and live a little.
In summary, we’ve had a major life update, but now that we’re more settled, you can expect more creative output soon. Hopefully, this post gets the ball rolling.
To my friends back in New York: We miss you! We’ll be back soon enough, and you should visit us before then!
I have a few posts in the pipeline (in no particular order):
A summary of all my creations from 2023
The bucket list goals I want to achieve this year
Part 2 (finally!) of the 25 lessons to live by at 25
So subscribe if you don’t want to miss any of those!
Thanks for reading, love you guys ❤️
Yas