5 lessons I learned from the last 5 books I read
Stoicism, capital punishment, and speaking like a dog...
I finished my tenth book of the year, so it’s time for a new installment of “5 lessons I learned from the last five books I read”! (You can read the previous one here.)
As a refresher, or if you’re new here, I write a weekly newsletter (except for the occasional unforeseen one-month hiatus). I use this newsletter to detail and keep track of my goals and my progress towards achieving them. One of my new year’s resolutions for 2022 is to read an hour a day, with the hope that I’ll finish 50 books by the end of the year. I’m a bit behind on this schedule, but still, I’ve managed to finish ten books since January! Last year, I finished my tenth book over the summer, so I’m already a few months ahead of where I was last year. Progress is progress. I’ll take it!
To ensure that nothing gets in the way of my goal, I don’t restrict what kinds of books I allow myself to read. As long as I’m reading, anything goes! I tend to read books from many different genres. The last five books I read include a novel, a young adult book, a dog training manual, and some philosophy and non-fiction. I love jumping between different books as it keeps things interesting. I even tend to read multiple books simultaneously (I’m currently reading five!) The reason for this I’ve covered in more depth in a previous newsletter which you can read here:
Before I discuss the lessons, I have a request from you. I have a long (and growing) list of books I want to read on Goodreads, but I’m always looking for new books to read, and I value your suggestions. So if you’ve recently read a book you loved, I’d love to hear about it. I’ll be sure to add it to the list and hopefully read it as part of the remaining forty books I want to get to this year…
Anyway, the five lessons will be long enough, so let’s jump right into it!
Book 1: Meditations
by Marcus Aurelius
My rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5
Main lesson: Expect the worst, and you can only be pleasantly surprised.
At first glance, this lesson seems quite pessimistic. When I told my girlfriend Charlotte about this book and described this idea, she seemed revolted. "That's a terrible way to see the world! You can't just expect the worst!" But I don't see it that way.
Marcus Aurelius, as a Stoic, has a philosophy of controlling one's emotions and reactions to the outside world rather than trying to change the world around you. He and the Stoics see parts of the world as unchangeable — no matter what you do, there is always a chance that you may encounter someone who seems determined to ruin your day. Charlotte just started working as a server, and she comes home every day with stories of particularly rude customers. (One of her coworkers got slapped by a customer last year!)
The way Marcus Aurelius would deal with such a situation is to prepare for each day by telling yourself that there are certain things you cannot control and to expect that some unpleasant things may happen. Then, you can brush them off as, "Oh, there are those unpleasant things I was expecting to happen!" On the other hand, if you have a nice day and nothing unpleasant happens, it's a positive. "I was expecting unpleasantness, and it didn't happen. Yay!"
Overall, this book was fascinating. It's written by a Roman Emperor, which in itself makes for an exciting read. But what is truly remarkable is that it's his diary. These "meditations" are just small snippets or thoughts that Marcus Aurelius would write to himself regularly as an exercise in journaling. He would remind himself about his values and morals, who he aspires to be, and who he looks up to. It is no surprise that such an introspective look into a historical figure is so captivating, and there is a lot to learn in this book.
Stoicism, as I see it, has positives and negatives. It allows you to go through life with a different lens that renders you less helpless to the ebbs and flows of the outside world. Yet, some might want a more optimistic view of the world. Regardless of my opinion on Stoicism, I was surprised by how easy it was to read and digest Marcus Aurelius' writing, given that it was written so long ago. However, if you're looking for an even more accessible introduction to Stoicism and Marcus Aurelius, I recommend the YouTuber and best-selling author Ryan Holiday (aka. the Daily Stoic).
Book 2: A Clockwork Orange
by Anthony Burgess
My rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5
Main lesson: The way you say things can be just as interesting as what you say.
I have trouble putting into words what I liked so much about this book. The content is graphic, with the protagonist engaging in senseless violence and overall being an utterly terrible person. This isn't usually my cup of tea.
But what is fascinating is the way the book is written. The author writes in the first person as the protagonist and uses abundant Russian slang. By abundant, I mean multiple times per sentence. And he then will write run-on sentences that should seem convoluted but somehow work. You pick up what all the slang means from context, and then the writing style is so enthralling that it pulls you along for the ride.
Although the lesson is not so much from its content, this book made me want to explore new, more creative writing styles. The author makes his writing so dynamic that it is super interesting to read regardless of what he is writing. My newsletter has been a great way to practice writing, and I feel like I get better and more confident every week. (Although my editor Charlotte, who has the pleasure of reading my first drafts, might disagree.) In the past, my newsletters that have been less technical and more emotional or stylized seem to be the best received, and I also had the best time writing them. Notably, the following one:
Although I still want my newsletter to continue having some objective, technical writing, I’d like to try exploring more creative writing prompts to push my writing to new heights.
Book 3: The Fault in Our Stars
by John Green
My rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5
Main lesson: "You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world [...], but you do have some say in who hurts you."
This quote is quite reminiscent of the lesson I took from Marcus Aurelius and Stoicism. I was quite surprised how much I got out of this book. I think a lot of it gets brushed off because it is technically a "young adult" book, but it talks about challenging topics in a beautiful way. It explores the themes of illness, pain, and mortality and how these affect people’s identities and relationships.
There is a lot to get out of this book. This became immediately apparent when I went looking for the above quote, and google returned a page with "200 famous quotes from The Fault in Our Stars", all with their own intricacies and deep meanings.
My main takeaway is very similar to the Stoics' way of thinking, and my reading of the book was undoubtedly influenced by having recently finished Marcus Aurelius. Still, it seems that the main character Hazel Grace comes to terms with certain aspects of her illness and how it affects her relationships in similar ways that the Stoics would. "You can't control that you will get hurt" is almost a mirror image of the idea that you can't control the outside world, precisely that you can't control what will happen to you. The only thing you can control is who you surround yourself with and how you let these people and their actions affect you.
Relationships can hurt because you allow yourself to be emotionally vulnerable. The beauty of a relationship is how much trust you give the other person over affecting your emotions.
I definitely got more out of this book than I was expecting. I started it because I found a $1 copy at the local bookstore, and I thought the worst that could happen was that I wouldn't get into it, and I could just move on to another book. I'm glad I chose to pick it up.
Book 4: The Other End of the Leash: Why We Do What We Do Around Dogs
by Patricia B. McConnell
My rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5
Main lesson: Humans and dogs don’t communicate physically the same way, and it is essential to know the differences to avoid confusion, or worse!
Our dog trainer recommended this book. Charlotte and I have made great strides with Adobo since adopting her back in December, and the trainer is partly to thank for that. Our trainer said this book would help with our training, so I promptly added it to my reading list. (By the way, I wrote about some of the habits I picked up since adopting Adobo in the last newsletter. You can read that one below.)
The book’s central thesis is that humans (as primates) and dogs communicate physically but in very different ways.
Much of how primates interact with one another in the wild comes naturally to us. For example, when greeting each other, they start by facing each other head-on, making eye contact, and sometimes reaching out to grab or touch another individual (think: shaking hands). Primates hug each other to show affection or to comfort each other after a scary or emotional encounter.
On the other hand, dogs do not display the same physical actions when trying to portray the same intents or emotions. For example, greeting someone face-on is a sign of aggression or rudeness. Instead, a dog greets from the side by either sniffing or letting the other dog sniff them first. Hugging, or as the author puts it, “chest-to-chest contact,” is also seen as a form of aggression as opposed to affection. The author says that, of course, a dog who knows you will not go into fight mode whenever you hug them. Instead, they may take it as a sign of their owner just being goofy, and hence it might seem like they like it, when really they are just putting up with it.
This book makes the reader question their physical communication and read their dog better. As I read the book, I started noticing things Adobo does that I previously would have ignored entirely. It also allows you to better communicate with your furry friend and even anticipate certain behaviors.
I really enjoyed this book, and it definitely seemed like it was written by someone both loving and highly knowledgeable of dogs. This contrasts with the book I read and wrote about in the last edition of this newsletter, celebrity dog trainer Cesar Millan’s “Cesar’s Rules.” Our dog trainer had told us that I probably should not have read that book, as Cesar Millan’s techniques are not all supported by science and he ends up sometimes setting dogs up for failure. After reading McConnell’s book, I understand what a good dog training book looks like… I probably should not have taken advice from a reality TV dog trainer. But, you live and you learn.
Book 5: Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption
by Bryan Stevenson
My rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5
Main lesson: The death penalty should be abolished. Also, the prison system in the US is completely backward.
This book had been on my reading list for a while. When sorting the list by average Goodreads rating, it was the top book ever since I added it to the list.
I now understand why.
This book is incredibly devastating and moving. (When checking the one-star reviews out of curiosity, this was often given as a reason for the low rating. “Too sad.”) Bryan Stevenson, a lawyer who has spent his career getting prisoners off death row, tells the story of one particular inmate he saves. Walter McMillian was wrongfully accused of committing a murder that occurred while he was at a barbecue across town with dozens of friends and family members. Stevenson elaborates how this particular case was unusual because McMillian was put on death row before trial. He details how the system ensured that McMillian was convicted of the crime every step of the way, despite the very little evidence against him and the numerous witnesses willing to testify in his favor. Luckily, after years of work, Stevenson and his team were finally able to get him off death row. Unfortunately, Stevenson then describes the adverse effects that Walter faces even after being absolved.
Throughout elaborating the details of Walter’s story, Stevenson inserts chapters of other cases that are each more overwhelming than the last. I did not need convincing that capital punishments should be abolished, but this book solidified this belief tenfold. Putting aside the moral question of whether we should kill murderers or not, the very fact that we can never be 100% sure that someone has committed a crime should be reason enough to abolish the death penalty altogether. Of course, this was already my belief, but before reading the book, I naively thought that we had a system of justice that would try its best not to make mistakes. After reading this book, it is clear that not only is the system not just, it is explicitly designed to put those less fortunate, especially BIPOC, behind bars or on death row.
This opened my eyes to how much power those with bad intentions can have in our system. In particular, Stevenson shows in Walter’s case how the police officer who was friends with the prison owner was able to put Walter on death row pending trial. Then when Walter was finally on trial, the judge, who was also friends with the officer, used broken laws to make sure the jury was as unfavorable to Walter as possible.
It is hard to put all the lessons of this book into one clear statement. First and foremost, abolish capital punishments. At this point, this should be a no-brainer. Second, the way Americans think of “punishment” is entirely backward. We have the largest prison population globally, yet we keep putting more people behind bars as if more punishment will result in less crime. A just system would focus on rehabilitation, with the end goal of helping those who have committed crimes get better. Private prisons mean individuals profit from higher incarceration and can then use their profits to lobby local governments to ensure a steady inflow of inmates. Lastly, the very fact that judges can choose willy-nilly to try a child “as an adult” makes absolutely no sense. A child is a child, and an adult is an adult.
I cannot recommend this book enough. It is an eye-opening and essential read.
I hope you enjoyed this newsletter! I recommend all of these books, although the dog training one might be a little niche if you don’t have a dog…
Next time, I think I’ll dive into the specific progress I have made so far this year towards my New Year’s resolutions. I used to do this exercise every week last year, and it ended up being a bit repetitive, but now that I haven’t done it in a while, I miss it. So please subscribe if you want to read that, and also let me know what I should read next in the comments!
Thanks ❤️